About Shyness

It is perfectly natural to feel a little shy in certain situations - especially social or work situations where you are meeting people for the first time, or want to create a good impression, or where you might feel judged by other people. Many people contact me for help with shyness with hypnotherapy - it is a very common problem. Shyness is a manifestation of social anxiety - click HERE to read more.

However, shyness or feeling self conscious becomes a problem when the sufferer becomes intensely aware of themselves and everything they are doing or saying - being hyper aware of how they are behaving or how they are perceived by other people. They may then come to dread or avoid social situations or interactions as they feel them too uncomfortable or challenging.

Because of these shy feelings, people may become tongue-tied and feel like they are talking nonsense, just for the sake of saying something. Or perhaps, they may not speak at all - for fear of saying something that might sound stupid. They feel like they just can't relax and be themselves because they are so worried about what the other person is thinking.

Shyness is just one of the symptoms of social anxiety or social phobia, which is a fear of any situation where the sufferer is likely to feel embarassed, humiliated or judged - for example; dinner parties, public speaking, interviews, appearing in court, singing and stuttering.
Associated symptoms include sensitivity to criticism, negative self image, fear of rejection, difficulty in being assertive and feelings of inferiority. Basically any situation in life where you might feel embarrassed, on the spot, judged, silly out of control etc.

Feeling Shy at Work

Many people feel shy at work in situations such as meetings, giving presentations ('performance anxiety'), performance reviews, networking events or shyness making phone calls. Often the more pressure or importance attached to these situations, the more shy one can feel. Likewise, shyness is also associated with the perceived superiority of the person you are interacting with - the more powerful or important they seem - the more intimidated or shy one becomes.

Feeling Shy with the Opposite Sex / Feeling Shy on Dates

Meeting new potential partners can often be daunting. If you are keen to find love or romance, feeling shy with the opposite sex can be a real hurdle. Especially if you really like them and you don't want to blow it! This extra pressure you put on yourself will increase your anxiety and  can lead to feeling tongue-tied, lost for words or a sense of frustration that you and this other person could really hit it off - if only you could open up and be yourself so they could get to know the real you.